I started working at a local coffee shop chain this week. I'm an opener so I have to be to work at 4:15 am. I have to get up at 3:15 am to get to work on time. I'm a zombie ha ha. It's only part-time so I'm managing OK. I haven't worked outside the home since I was a week away from delivering my 4 year old! I've worked from home for the last two years and honestly being out in the world again is nice. I feel like a functioning adult again 😃My life is never simple. My parentage is, of course, complicated. My mother was in an abusive relationship as a teenager which resulted in ME lol. I was born with bruises in a home for unwed mothers. Those places don't even exist anymore! I was around 2 years old when my mother left this abusive partner and started a new life with my adopted father. I was legally adopted me and raised by this man. He is also the man who sexually abused me as young girl but I digress. To make things more complicated my biological father was adopted as an infant and it was a closed adoption. He and his immediate adopted family are all deceased. I have no adoption records and no way to obtain his records. Since he is not listed on my birth certificate (and never was as he was not present at my birth and did not sign my birth certificate) I am not able to legally access his adoption records. I have found relatives of my biological father's adopted family and they are wonderful. I have now done the Ancestry DNA kit and I'm hoping to find biological relatives from my bio father's side. It's my last ditch effort to hopefully find some of my relatives and maybe form a relationship with them. One half of my DNA is a complete mystery to me and it's always been a question is the back of my mind. Hopefully this will give me at least some of the answers I crave.
I am concerned with finding my biological family though and explaining that my biological father was not a good person and that he died alone of AIDS in 1992. He was in and out of jail, he was an addict, and he was an abuser. He did love and cherish me though; that's his one redeeming quality. How do I tell his biological family all of this? I'm open to advice on this if you have some!
I'm also worried that I'm going to find people that won't want a relationship with me or that will try and take advantage of me somehow.
This could be my anxiety running rampant and filling me with unnecessary worry. Sometimes it's really difficult to distinguish what's my anxiety and what is a valid concern. Oh the joys of mental illness: not knowing if your mind is playing tricks on you or not,
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month I'm linking the Massachusetts Association of Mental Health donation page: Donate to MAMH
Alright, back to reality. Thank you for visiting my blog ❤❤
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