Mom-shaming is defined as "criticizing or degrading a mother for her parenting choices because they differ from the choices the shamer would make" (Source). This trend is sickening to me. I despise mom-shaming. I have been guilty of it in the past and for that I'm sorry. I've learned my lesson and as long as you're not abusing or severely neglecting your child/ren then you do you! Here is why I bring up this topic; I freaking LOVE working full time. I truly adore it. I know, how awful of me right? It's the truth though.
I stopped working outside the home one week before my four year old was born. My depression and anxiety got intensely worse over the last four years I have been either a stay at home mom or a work from home mom. To the point of hospitalization. Now, it's not my kids' fault and in no way am I blaming them for my mental health struggles. It made the most sense financially for me to be home with the kids. Over the next four years there would be other issues to arise that were contributors to my depression such as hormone imbalances from birth control, postpartum depression, the loss of my son, changes in medications, etc. I was struggling so severely that ultimately I ended up in a psych ward for a week. I just felt alone and frazzled all the time. I didn't like being around my kids. I got "breaks" from them often but it just wasn't enough to stabilize my mental health. I was miserable.
It's only been a week of working full time again and I already feel a million times better. I feel like a whole new human being. Not only am I out of the house conversing with adults but I'm doing the job I worked so hard in college (as a single mother) to be able to get. I'm able to miss my kids and enjoy the time I spend with them. It works for me and most importantly it improves my mental health.
Now, this is where the mom-shaming comes in. I know I will get looked down on by some people for finding happiness and fulfillment outside of my children. It's an archaic idea that a woman must only find fulfillment in marriage, children and home-making. Yet, many people still adhere to that ideology. As a result, judgement is harsh on women who chose (not necessarily women who have to work to support their family) to work outside the home while also choosing to be a mother. It's absolutely ridiculous to expect every mother to find happiness in the same thing. We're all different human beings and we all have different personalities. Some women really do find true happiness and fulfillment in being a stay at home mom and that's completely ok. Life is NOT a competition. Embrace our differences and stop judging each other so harshly. Especially since you may not understand an individual's mental health condition and how judgments could have a horrific negative effect on them. Just have some empathy and compassion.
Always chose kindness ❤
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